Let’s start from the beginning. Before even stepping in the classroom I had some preconceived notions about what was supposed to happen and what should happen. Not all kids would know the material, but after teaching it to them, they would understand. Not necessarily the first time, but with a little extra help they would. I believed that all kids would at least put some effort in the classroom and I could make math exciting.
Even with all this energy and positive thinking, I was still scared the first day of school. The thought of being in front of 20 to 30 kids with most of them paying attention to your every move and every word frightened me. Probably, the first and last time they would pay attention to your every word. The idea of being responsible for a large group of children day in and day out was terrifying. I never liked presentations or speaking in front of large groups and now I was expected to do it every single day.
Eventually I got over the speaking in front of a large group of people, really quickly. Now the hard part was getting the kids to learn something. People always told me I would make a great teacher because I could break down thing easily, so the delivery didn’t scare me, it was getting the kids interested. Later I figured out, it was also getting the kids to sit still enough and quiet enough to pay attention. The first year of teaching I was concentrating on surviving the day and hopefully at the end of the day somebody learned something. It’s about trying new methods, and figuring out things that work and things that don’t work. My main concentration was keeping myself going and proving to the kids that I care about them and would do anything for them to succeed.
My second year of teaching I had things under control, over the summer I was able to look back at my first year, and decided what methods to use and where to revise my approach. I had a fresh start with new students; well at least most of them were new. Considering I wasn’t dealing with an overwhelming amount of new experiences, I was able to focus more on the teaching aspect, rather than constantly being in survival mode. Sometimes I feel that I’ve done worse my second year, but I think that stems from being more critical of myself as a teacher. I know that I have the ability to do better; I know that I can reach more kids. I also realize that I am still a young teacher and have a lot more to learn about being a teacher. This is only my second year; it’s going to take a couple years to become the teacher I want to be.
The difference from my first year to my second year is evident in some of the notes or comments I receive from students. My first year I received letters from students stating they liked me because I cared more about them than any other teacher they’ve ever had. The students could see the effort that went into everyday all year long. They recognized the hours I put into helping them before and after school. A particular student that I had last year, that will remain unnamed, she always said that I was her favorite teacher because I never stopped trying to help her. She failed three out of the four nine weeks, but I never stopped trying to help her understand, and she often commented on that. My second year, the comments I received from my students are more about the how much they learned in my classroom. One particular student wrote an essay about me, he never thought of himself as a math student, but because of my teaching he became a high achieving student.
This year I tried to focus on creating a classroom of trust, where the students could trust me to come through with what I say and in return I could trust them to come through. Now both ends are lacking sometimes, but that’s part of growing as students as a teacher. In the beginning I didn’t trust my kids to do much, I felt I needed to control things, like putting away supplies, handling calculators, putting stuff up on the wall. Not only simple things but also academically. I held high expectations for them, but certain projects or activities I would avoid, because I didn’t trust that they would follow through. But in my second year of teaching, I discovered that these are the best opportunities from learning, and they can surprise you. Not ever student will pull through for you every time and as a teacher you have to get used to being disappointed in students and in yourself sometimes. But I try to concentrate on the positive. I’ve started trusting them, and they do succeed.
I believe my growth reflects my teaching philosophy; I’m learning from my behavior in the classroom, the fact that I repeat lessons with positive results and try not to repeat lessons with negative results. Also, on the constructivist side, I am constantly problem solving, using my previous knowledge from my first year to improve my teaching. As I’m learning how to do that with my teaching I’m creating the opportunity for my students to do it as well in the classroom.
I’ve probably learned more about myself teaching in the past two years than I will ever in my teaching career. I also recognize that I still have many years in front of me to develop into a truly great teacher.
Even with all this energy and positive thinking, I was still scared the first day of school. The thought of being in front of 20 to 30 kids with most of them paying attention to your every move and every word frightened me. Probably, the first and last time they would pay attention to your every word. The idea of being responsible for a large group of children day in and day out was terrifying. I never liked presentations or speaking in front of large groups and now I was expected to do it every single day.
Eventually I got over the speaking in front of a large group of people, really quickly. Now the hard part was getting the kids to learn something. People always told me I would make a great teacher because I could break down thing easily, so the delivery didn’t scare me, it was getting the kids interested. Later I figured out, it was also getting the kids to sit still enough and quiet enough to pay attention. The first year of teaching I was concentrating on surviving the day and hopefully at the end of the day somebody learned something. It’s about trying new methods, and figuring out things that work and things that don’t work. My main concentration was keeping myself going and proving to the kids that I care about them and would do anything for them to succeed.
My second year of teaching I had things under control, over the summer I was able to look back at my first year, and decided what methods to use and where to revise my approach. I had a fresh start with new students; well at least most of them were new. Considering I wasn’t dealing with an overwhelming amount of new experiences, I was able to focus more on the teaching aspect, rather than constantly being in survival mode. Sometimes I feel that I’ve done worse my second year, but I think that stems from being more critical of myself as a teacher. I know that I have the ability to do better; I know that I can reach more kids. I also realize that I am still a young teacher and have a lot more to learn about being a teacher. This is only my second year; it’s going to take a couple years to become the teacher I want to be.
The difference from my first year to my second year is evident in some of the notes or comments I receive from students. My first year I received letters from students stating they liked me because I cared more about them than any other teacher they’ve ever had. The students could see the effort that went into everyday all year long. They recognized the hours I put into helping them before and after school. A particular student that I had last year, that will remain unnamed, she always said that I was her favorite teacher because I never stopped trying to help her. She failed three out of the four nine weeks, but I never stopped trying to help her understand, and she often commented on that. My second year, the comments I received from my students are more about the how much they learned in my classroom. One particular student wrote an essay about me, he never thought of himself as a math student, but because of my teaching he became a high achieving student.
This year I tried to focus on creating a classroom of trust, where the students could trust me to come through with what I say and in return I could trust them to come through. Now both ends are lacking sometimes, but that’s part of growing as students as a teacher. In the beginning I didn’t trust my kids to do much, I felt I needed to control things, like putting away supplies, handling calculators, putting stuff up on the wall. Not only simple things but also academically. I held high expectations for them, but certain projects or activities I would avoid, because I didn’t trust that they would follow through. But in my second year of teaching, I discovered that these are the best opportunities from learning, and they can surprise you. Not ever student will pull through for you every time and as a teacher you have to get used to being disappointed in students and in yourself sometimes. But I try to concentrate on the positive. I’ve started trusting them, and they do succeed.
I believe my growth reflects my teaching philosophy; I’m learning from my behavior in the classroom, the fact that I repeat lessons with positive results and try not to repeat lessons with negative results. Also, on the constructivist side, I am constantly problem solving, using my previous knowledge from my first year to improve my teaching. As I’m learning how to do that with my teaching I’m creating the opportunity for my students to do it as well in the classroom.
I’ve probably learned more about myself teaching in the past two years than I will ever in my teaching career. I also recognize that I still have many years in front of me to develop into a truly great teacher.